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Seal Oil
Omega-3 Seal Oil

Line - Newfoundland Products
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Absolutely Frank Absolutely Frank
Bryan Hennessey

Price: CDN$13.95
Absolutely Frank, one of the few authenticated cases of human parthenogenesis, was born in the Dominion of Newfoundland, a fact which he tiresomely insists on reminding people about.

Frank and his lovely wife Hazel were married sometime in the mid 70s. After a checkered career of miscellaneous failures, Frank lucked into a job as a professioal grump at CBC, a job which ended in an apocalyptic catastrophe precipitated by his cousin Ted, a professional lay-about.

Frank and Hazel have since vanished. Cousin Ted's whereabouts are also unknown, although it is rumoured that hee is attempting to extort money from the inhabitants of the Jovian moon, Europa, by threatening to expose their existence to the rest of the Solar System.

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